Bunnings has everything

Category: Joke Board

Post 1 by PrincessCarlie (Account disabled) on Monday, 12-Nov-2007 4:11:53

> Bunnings has everything!

>

> One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,

> 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.' 'Listen, you

> don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.  'There's a

> diagnostic computer down at Bunnings. Just give it a urine sample and the

> computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten

> seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a Doctor.' So, Joe

> deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it

> to Bunnings. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks

> for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten

> seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis elbow.

> Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in

> two weeks.

> Thank you for shopping @ Bunnings.'  That evening, while thinking how

> amazing this new technology was Joe began wondering if the computer could

> be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine

> samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

> Joe hurries back to Bunnings, eager to check the results. He deposits ten

> dollars, pours in his oncoction, and awaits the results. The computer

> prints the following:

> 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

> 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

> 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

> 4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a solicitor.

> 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get

> better!

> Thank you for shopping @ Bunnings

Post 2 by jaguar (Addicted to the Zone) on Monday, 12-Nov-2007 12:20:50

Sick, lol.

Post 3 by buk buk buk (move over school!) on Monday, 12-Nov-2007 17:42:24

hehegh roflmao! Nice!

Post 4 by YankeeFanForLife! (Picapiedra: king of the boards!) on Monday, 12-Nov-2007 19:47:58

Haha! I have heard this be for.